WHAT IS A FAMILY?
A family can mean many different things to many people. A family can be huge with aunts, uncles, brothers, sisters, step siblings, foster parents and children, mothers and fathers, cousins and grandparents – but basically, your family consists of people you feel a close bond with, a special connection.
Usually they are people who have helped you learn and grow up in the world and can include friends and other supportive people. The people you consider to be part of your family should be people who not only love and care for you but also who you are able to relate to, love and care for in return. A family is like one big or small support network.
What are the benefits of having a family?
The downside for some…
What can be bad about having a family?
RELATIONSHIPS IN YOUR FAMILY
We all can have different types of relationships with each person in our family. Sometimes we can get along well with everyone and at other times we can feel closer and more trusting with one or more people in our family.
We’re all different and conflict is a part of everyday life so you can only expect that conflict happens in families and this is where we learn and develop our own ways of handling conflict. These can be positive or negative.
When you feel you belong and are supported by a family, the ups and downs of life are easier to get through. Relationships between you and your family need attention and need to work for you.
What are some things you can do to try to handle these conflicts and problems that come up with your family?
HANDLING SIBLINGS WISELY
What can we do to improve our relationships with our siblings?
• Try not to deliberately annoy them or increase their anger.
• Give the situation time before confrontation (cooling down time)
• Agree to disagree.
• When you have overstepped the mark and you know it, apologise.
• Be trustworthy, reliable and honest with them.
• Respect their values and beliefs as well as their privacy.
• Respect their friendships outside and in the family.
• Try to resolve conflicts without your parents help by negotiating, but if you feel you really must, then do so.
HANDLING PARENTS AND CARERS WISELY
What can we do to improve our relationships with our parents/Carers?
• Trying to stay calm, mature and respectful during any negotiation will help them see that you are now becoming mature.
• When arguments become heated try letting them cool down before beginning negotiations again in a calm, mature and respectful manner.
• Building trust with your parents and carers can strengthen your relationship and make it easier for them to say “yes” to your requests.
• Always try to communicate with your parents and carers. Share your thoughts and feelings with them and listen to their advice.
• Realise without mutual respect any relationship will be unhappy.
• Remember that yelling never helps, it only aggravates.
• Don’t lie or hide things. It may seem like a perfect short-term solution but that is all it boils down to, a short-term solution. When your parents and carers catch on, you will be right back to square one.
• Respect each other in general and know that these rules work both ways.
WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THESE WAYS OF HANDLING FAMILY MEMBERS?
CAN YOU THINK OF ANY OTHERS?
WHAT IS CONFLICT?
Basically conflict is a disagreement between people over differing points of view, needs, or issues.
Conflicts and disagreements are part of life and will arise even amongst the closest of friends.
People deal with conflict in different ways, how we deal with conflict can tell us a lot about ourselves.
WHY IS THERE CONFLICT?
We all know people who think and feel differently than we do and maybe don't always get what we're on about. This is part of being individual and unique and is not a bad thing.
If we disagree with others, it’s natural that conflict would be a part of that. So conflict is to be expected but it’s how we learn to deal with it in the best way possible that’s the important part.
DEALING WITH CONFLICT
How do people deal with conflict?
Some people deal with conflict by:
• Ignoring, not facing the conflict or running away from it,
• Stewing about the conflict and keeping feelings like anger inside,
• Seeing conflict as a competition that you have to either win or lose,
• Giving up what you wanted in the beginning or changing your point of view just to make peace.
Are these good or bad ways of dealing with conflict?
Most of these solutions are short term. Conflict situations can sometimes damage relationships or make you feel helpless, confused or stressed.
HANDLING CONFLICT WELL
When conflict is handled well, it can make you feel better and can make your relationships with others stronger or more respectful.
What are some good ways for handling conflict?
Here are some ideas and ways to help you deal with conflict and resolve arguments.
Be calm and in control
• If you need to, take time out to cool down before talking.
Figure out what the conflict is about
• Try to see why the other person is so angry. Be prepared to listen to them and see things from their side too.
Look for as many solutions to disagreements as you can.
• Sometimes this isn’t simple so it might take a bit of time. Don’t forget, it is possible to agree to disagree!
Show that you want to work things out
• Be prepared to apologise for things you may have done wrong or unfair words said in the heat of the moment. Negotiate!!!!!
Get another perspective
• Someone who isn’t involved may help you see a different perspective.
If things don't work out…
Sometimes you can't resolve every conflict the way you would like. Maybe you and others are not prepared to compromise or give up. But at least you will know that you tried your best and learned something.
What do you think of these ways of dealing with conflict?